We tend to think that circumstances causes us to become bitter, but this is not always the case. Bitterness is something that happens to us, it is a characteristic we develop. To swallow a daily dose of poison would be unthinkable. Yet this is what you do if you awaken each morning with bitter thoughts that belong to the past. You are poisoning your system.
Bitterness is a killer. But who does it hurt? Only you – for who else suffers that gnawing pain which twists and turns deep in your being? Certainly not the one who has wronged you!. He or she probably is not even aware of it. Bitterness depresses the spirits, stifles creativity, weakens the immune system, obstructs happiness and ruins health. As a carrier you are the only one who reaps its adverse consequences so why submit to it?
A bitter person always seems to find a good reason to be bitter: “After all I did, he or she left me…” “My parents all favour my brother – nothing I do will please them…” “That false rumour ruined my chances of promotion…” and the list goes on…Valid reasons, maybe. Painful, certainly! even worthy of some human emotion. But it takes only a little –yes just a little time and effort to work through the pain, hurt, disappointment, sadness or anger. You must process your emotions, regain your balance, change your attitude or seek counsel.
“Wonderful in theory,” a bitter person might say. “But I can’t forget.” You can forget; but whether you choose to is another matter. It takes time and effort to re-pattern negative thoughts into the conscious habit of replacing them with positive ones. When we harbour negative emotions towards others or towards ourselves, or when we intentionally create pain for others, we poison our own physical and spiritual systems. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. It disables a person’s emotional resources. The challenge is to refine our capacity to love others as well as ourselves and to develop the power of forgiveness.
“Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hate. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.”
ALLAH TA’ALA knows what’s hidden in the deep recesses of our hearts. Those feelings of pain, anguish, resentment, hatred, bitterness, etc., that we so successfully hide from everyone else, including our closest family members and friends. So why not let it all out. Why not let ALLAH TA’ALA be your “therapist”. Let your prayer mat be your “couch” while you reveal and ask the One who is in control, Who knows you better than you know yourself. From the very depth of ALLAH TA’ALA’S fountain of Mercy, bitterness will be cleansed and you shall blossom amongst the flowers of enjoyment. Subhaan-ALLAH !
Beloved Reader! It is better to live in peace than in bitterness and strife. I’ve known people to go through a lot of trials and hardships and maintain a grateful and gracious spirit throughout. I’ve seen others face similar trials only to become angry and embittered souls. In both the cases the hardship revealed the heart more than it formed the heart. If we are filled with sweetness and something jostles us, then sweetness spills out. If we are filled with bitterness and we get jostled then battery acid goes everywhere. Overcome the obstacles in your path, be determined, courageous and hard-working. Never be faint-hearted. Be resolute, but never bitter… be beautiful inside and thus you shall become an embodiment of love, joy and happiness.
HOW TO DEAL WITH BITTERNESS:
- Most important is to Turn to Allah by means of Dua (Prayer). Raise your hands in supplication, for, Du’a is a weapon of a Believer.
- Every time you think of a past negative situation, replace it instantly with a picture of a positive, happy life.
- When you feel resentful, bless and forgive the person who wronged you and do not stop praying for the best for those you love.
- Busy yourself with things you enjoy so that you have no time to brood. Plan something to look forward to. Give to someone who is worse off than yourself. In other words place every negative thought with a positive one until it becomes a habit.
Never allow bitterness to take root or you’ll become a twisted, sour human being people will shun.
Bitter thoughts are like weeds. Pluck them out of your heart relentlessly…and in their place will sprout the seeds of joyful new life.
O ALLAH TA’ALA! Reform our character and bless us with cleanliness of the heart. Aameen