How to win ones heart
It is the first arrow and the fastest of them all. It is like the salt for food. It is also regarded as a kind of worship and alms-giving as mentioned in Hadith “Smiling at your brother’s face is as charity (Sadaqa)”. Sahaabah reported about the Prophet (Peace be up on him) saying that they had never seen someone smile at the other’s face more then as the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be up on him) used to do.
The Prophet Muhammad (Peace be up on him) said: “Do not ever waste your good deeds, even by meeting your brother with a frowning face.” Your smile for your brother is sadaqah.[bukhari]
BE THE FIRST TO GREET:
This arrow is the one that lets you to be in the inner most depths of the others hearts. This arrow needs a skilful shooter. The needed skills are the hearty smile, the warm shaking of hands and the friendly welcoming to the other. Being successfully achieved, such kinds of skills are going to be rewarded, referring to the Hadith: “In greetings, the better is one who initiates greeting the other”. You will not enter Jannah until you have Imaan (firm faith) and you will not attain (complete) Imaan until you love one another. Shall I not show you something by doing which there will be love between you? Make salaam common amongst yourselves. (Sahih Muslim)
It has a strange charming affection that captivates all senses. Hence, exchanging presents and gifts in different occasions is a pleasant habit however gifts should be within one’s tolerable expenses. Prophet (Peace be up on him) told us that giving presents increases love among Muslims.
He said also: “Shaking hands removes hatred and exchanging presents enhances love and ends enmity.”
SPEAK WHAT IS NECESSARY :
Loud voice and chattering are bad merits. You have to be sweet-worded, tender in expressing yourself. Concerning this merit, The Prophet (Peace be up on him) said “The good word is a charity (is a Sadaqa).” If the good word has its own magic in winning the hearts of your enemies how powerfully it would work then with your brothers’ hearts!! Whoever guarantees me the protection of the part between his two jaws (i.e. tongue) and that which is between his thighs (i.e. private parts), I guarantee for him Jannah. (Bukhaari and Muslim) Prophet’s (Peace be up on him) said: “Nobility of manners and taciturnity are the best of manners that people are ever characterized by.”
BE A GOOD LISTENER:
It is to listen patiently and never interrupt the speaker, as the Prophet (Peace be up on him) never interrupted a speaker till he ended his speech. And he who fights for this merit gains others love and admiration, whilst on the contrary is the one who chatters and interrupts the other.
APPEARANCE AND DRESSING WELL:
You have to be careful with your appearance so as to be neat, well-dressed. The Prophet (Peace be up on him) says that Allah (Saw) loves beauty to be in every thing.
BE KIND AND HELPFUL:
Good treatment you classifies you as an obedient, beloved slave of Allah (Saw) as the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be up on him) says: “The more you are in (real) favour of others, the more you are beloved by Allah (Saw) ” as Allah (Saw) says in the Quran: “ And spend of your substance in the cause of Allah (Saw) and make not your own hands contribute to (your) destruction; but do good; for Allah (Saw) love those, who do good” (2:195) Every good deed is sadaqah (an act of charity). (Bukhaari and Muslim)Whoever provides ease for someone who is burdened with debt, Allah will provide ease for him in this world and the Aakhirah. (Sahih Muslim)
Offering money is the key for most of the closed doors that hinder you from reaching others hearts, especially in these days. Some people behave stingily as if they see the ghost of poverty waiting to attack them once they think about being generous in offering money i.e. not the behaviour of the Muslim. Sadaqah (the giving of charity) wipes out sin just as water extinguishes fire. (Tirmizi)
Keeping an eye on others behaviour is a bad merit that blocks your way to their hearts. On the contrary is to have a good opinion of them. So, try hard to give your brothers the excuse as much as you can. Allah (Saw) told us that if some one hurt others then he or she would have to ask for forgiveness from the person as well as from Allah (Saw) in order to compensate the mistake. The Muslim who conceals the faults of another Muslim, Allah will conceal his faults on the Day of Qiyaamah. (Sahih Muslim)
BE HONEST AND EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS:
If you loved someone or felt good feelings about them, don’t wait, just tell them at once. Regarding this, the Prophet (Peace be up on him) said: “If you felt the brotherly love of Islam towards any, you should immediately go and tell him about your feelings.” He added “It is the way relations are to be strongly indicated”. Such love is to be blessed by Allah (Saw) , if it is purely for Allah (Saw) ‘s sake, not for any other personal affairs such as seeking high position, money, fame etc. Unless this love is for Allah’s (Saw) sake, it is a fruitless kind of brotherhood then.
Moreover, Allah (Saw) says: “Friends on that Day will be enemies one to another, except Al Muttaqoon (i.e. those who have strong faith and deeds).” (43:67) I enjoin upon you truthfulness for indeed truthfulness guides towards virtue, and virtue certainly leads to Jannah. (Bukhaari and Muslim)
It is the art of being social. Here, a kind of misconception could exist between sociability and hypocrisy. Could you differentiate between the two meanings? The difference between hypocrisy and sociability is that sociability is a desirable legal behaviour in order to improve either life on earth or religion or so as to improve both by sacrificing the worldly affairs, while hypocrisy aims at sacrificing religion for the sake of the worldly affairs.
The Prophet (Peace be up on him) said: “Being sociable is as alms-giving.”
The Muslim who visits his sick Muslim brother in the morning, seventy thousand angels pray for his forgiveness until the evening, and if he visits him in the evening, then seventy thousand angels pray for his forgiveness until the morning. And he will be granted a mansion (for it) in Jannah.(Tirmizi)
Rasulullah [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] was asked about the deeds which lead most of the people into Jannah. He replied, ‘The fear of Allah and good manners.’ (Tirmizi)
Family ties are suspended from the Arsh (Throne of Allah). It proclaims: Whoever upholds me, may Allah keep good relations with him and whoever severs me, may Allah sever His relation (of mercy) from him.(Bukhaari and Muslim)