Disobedient Spouse


Country: United Kingdom

Aslaam Alykum

Wanted to know what is to be done with a wife who is disobedient to her husband? Refuses him for sex without a reason. When I try speaking to her she thinks of it as a joke. I also have a daughter from her. I have explained the consequences of not obeying her husband.

It has come to a point where I don’t know what to do, sometimes I think of separation but then I have a daughter what should be done?

Jazak’Allah Khayran

(Question published as received)


In the name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-ramatullāhi wa-barakātuh

Respected brother in Islām,

We take note of your scenario. We commend you for your patience and tolerance with your wife thus far. Marriage requires forbearance and sacrifice from both partners. We advise you to handle the matter diligently. It may be that your wife is holding back from intimacy due to an external factor, such as health issues, stress, etc. Try to find out what the true problem is and try to overcome it by assisting her. In the meantime, you may share authentic, useful Islāmic literature / audio clips which discuss the right of intimacy for both partners.[1]

You may also introduce your wife to the website dedicated to Muslim women headed under the guidance of our respected teacher, Shaykh Mufti Ebrahim Desai called “The Ideal Woman”.[2]

And Allāh Ta‘ālā Knows Best
(Mufti) Bilal al-Mahmudi




Marriage Talks series by Muftī Ebrāhim Desai:

Session 1: http://idealwoman.org/2012/identify-your-marital-problems/

Session 2: http://idealwoman.org/2012/identify-your-marital-problem-session-2/

Session 3: http://idealwoman.org/2012/identify-your-marital-problems-session-3/

[2] http://idealwoman.org/2012/welcome-message-from-mufti-ebrahim-desai-2/