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Advice to Single Sisters Entangled with Married Men

The man you claim to “love” and are eagerly waiting on the sidelines for in the hopes that he’ll see you, is keeping you in the periphery for a reason. He knows perfectly well that he can go on enjoying his game on the field and you’ll still be standing there waiting around when everyone else goes home. You see, he loves the attention you give him. He relishes every minute of it. He loves the power he has over you. He loves that you are so eager to please him. Come rain or shine, he knows that you’ll always be standing there, eagerly waiting for him to just give you a glance…and no matter how difficult the game is he’s playing, unlike everything else he’s got going on, he knows you’re a sure shot. You may be the only guarantee he has in life, which is why his grasp on you is so tight.

He may say all the right things, he may go out of his way to make you feel EXTRA special. Maybe he has a nickname for you and “only” you. He has you convinced that YOU are an exception above all other women, even his wife, which is why he can’t stay away from you. If he’s really good, he’ll periodically pull the “I’m feeling guilty” card and disappear for a while. Then, in poetic fashion, he’ll reappear and tell you how “impossible” it was to forget you, how he thought of you every day and just needed to see you again!

Sounds so amazing doesn’t it? After all, what woman doesn’t want to believe that she’s irresistible? What woman doesn’t want a man to make her feel that she has a special power, above all other women in his life, to make him weak?
He’s figured out that by sticking to this solid script he can manipulate you to do pretty much anything he wants you to and believe anything he tells you.

Now, I know it’s hard for you to hear these things about the man you “love”. After all, he’s so sweet and such a good man otherwise. He has a good heart, he may even go to the masjid, help raise funds for charitable causes, and be an all-around “good guy”. How can such a man be capable of intentionally manipulating you? He’s not evil! He loves you…you know it, you feel it…he just can’t be with you because his life is so difficult. He’s sacrificing his own happiness (which is being with you) because of his family, his children, his parents…you feel so sorry for him but it makes you love him even more that he’s so noble…

Hold up…let’s rewind for just a second.
No one is saying that he’s evil. Being a man who is caught up in this toxic situation and one who is otherwise a relatively “good Muslim” are not mutually exclusive. Throughout history, even in the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him), men (and women) have fallen into this dangerous trap of shaitan. So, no one is denying that he has virtues. He is caught up in the addictive cycle the same as you are, just for different reasons. But that’s a whole other topic all together. We’re focusing on you right now.

Now, I want you to indulge me for just a moment and consider the possibility that what you perceive as “love” for this person is not as pretty and romantic as you think but it’s actually something else, something that is actively harming you. How many nights have you cried yourself to sleep because of the loneliness, the feelings of neglect? How many times have you beaten yourself up wondering why he’s not with you or why he didn’t choose YOU as his wife? How many times have you felt sick to your stomach over the guilt? Is that what you imagined you’d feel when you met “the one”? Or did you imagine someone who RECIPROCATED your feelings, and not just by word, but by action?

Didn’t you imagine that when you found the person you were created for that he would be loyal to you, be there for you when you needed him, take care of you when you were sick, honor your friends and family, wipe away your tears when you were down, and be proud to walk side by side with you, just as you were proud to do so with him? If you did, then you were right. That is how a man and woman who are in love behave with one another.

I’m certain you didn’t imagine that being in love meant that you would be hidden, like someone’s shameful secret. Unfortunately, despite the intensity and authenticity of your feelings for him, despite the fact that you already have and would probably continue sacrificing yourself, your principles, your reputation, your family’s honor, your spiritual health, etc., for him, he is not willing to do what it takes to be with you.

That would take honesty on his part. It would take for him to sacrifice many things that are part of the life he’s created…but he’s not willing to do that, which is why his promises to you will most likely NEVER be fulfilled. He is not willing to lose it all for you…if he was, he’d already have done it and wouldn’t be stringing you along as he has been.
Trust me when I say that a man in love will move mountains to be with the woman he loves. A man in lust, a man addicted to the attention his ego gets from such relationships, a man who cannot control his desires, will NOT. He will just continue to fulfill his desires. He will keep the addiction going as long as the supply is there and he can continue getting whatever he wants out of it. The moment his needs are no longer being met he will disappear completely. What does that mean for you? It means that the moment you stop giving in to him, the moment you stop showing up at the games, the moment he no longer sees you on the sidelines, he will dispose of you without a second thought…and unless he gets help, he’ll move on to his next conquest.

So, please my dear sister, do not be someone who lets ANYONE treat you like you are disposable. Do you realize who you are? I know this relationship has probably worn down your self-image and self-worth, but let me remind you that you have been honored by Allah (swt) to not only be a Muslim, but to be in the ummah of the Best of Creations (peace be upon him). Much of the Prophets life mission, even up until his last moments on earth, were to fight for YOUR rights as a woman, to be honored, to be cherished, to be loved, to be respected. You deserve better than this. You were not created to be used by someone and have your rights and honor stripped from you in the process. Would he ever allow someone to do this to his sister, to his daughter? Of course not! So what gives him the right to do it to you? It’s because what you risk losing is not as important as what he risks gaining from you. He does not care that you are in a state of perpetual heartache, that you cry when you are not with him, or that you have possibly missed out on so much of your life being caught up in this vicious cycle.

Please get out and seek help. There are professionals who can help you, people who will never judge you or ever expose you. They will do whatever they can to guide you out of this, inshAllah. You just have to believe that with Allah (swt) anything is possible. If you are sincere, in the blink of an eye, he can remove these feelings from your heart and set you free. Return to Him. He loves you, He loves your tears of repentance more than you can ever know. I promise you, if you surrender to Him, you can and will overcome this inshAllah. You just have to value yourself as much as He (azza wajal) has valued you and take the first step.

Allah (swt) said: “I am as My servant thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself. And if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly better than it. And if he draws near to Me a hand’s span, I draw near to him an arm’s length. And if he draws near to Me an arm’s length, I draw near to him a fathom’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.” (Hadist Qudsi: Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah)

by Ustadha Hosai Mojaddidi

Source: Jamiat Kzn

The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wassallam)’s sermon on Ramadhan

Baihaqi reported on the authority of Salman Al-Farsi (Radhi Allah ‘Anh) that Prophet (Ssallallaahu ‘alayhi wasalaam) delivered a sermon on the last day of the month of Sha’ban. In it he (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasalaam) said,

“O People! The month of Allah (Ramadan) has come with its mercies, blessings and forgiveness’s. Allah has decreed this month the best of all months. The days of this month are the best among the days and the nights are the best among the nights and the hours during Ramadan are the best among the hours. This is a month in which you have been invited by Him (to fast and pray). Allah has honoured you in it. In every breath you take is a reward of Allah, your sleep is worship, your good deeds are accepted and your invocations are answered.

Therefore, you must invoke your Lord in all earnestness with hearts free from sin and evil, and pray that Allah may help you to keep fast, and to recite the Holy Qur’an. Indeed!, miserable is the one who is deprived of Allah’s forgiveness in this great month. While fasting remember the hunger and thirst on the Day of Judgement. Give alms to the poor and needy. Pay respect to your elders, have sympathy for your youngsters and be kind towards your relatives and kinsmen. Guard your tongue against unworthy words, and your eyes from scenes that are not worth seeing (forbidden) and your ears from sounds that should not be heard.

Be kind to orphans so that if your children may become orphans they will also be treated with kindness. Do repent to Allah for your sins and supplicate with raised hands at the times of prayer as these are the best times, during which Allah Almighty looks at His servants with mercy. Allah Answers if they supplicate, Responds if they call, Grants if He is asked, and Accepts if they entreat. O people! you have made your conscience the slave of your desires.

Make it free by invoking Allah for forgiveness. Your back may break from the heavy load of your sins, so prostrate yourself before Allah for long intervals, and make this load lighter. Understand fully that Allah has promised in His Honour and Majesty that, people who perform salat and sajda (prostration) will be guarded from Hell-fire on the Day of Judgement.

O people!, if anyone amongst you arranges for iftar (meal at sunset) for any believer, Allah will reward him as if he had freed a slave, and Allah will forgive him his sins. A companion asked: “but not all of us have the means to do so” The Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasalaam) replied: Keep yourself away from Hell-fire though it may consist of half a date or even some water if you have nothing else.

O people!, anyone who during this month cultivates good manners, will walk over the Sirat (bridge to Paradise) on the day when feet will tend to slip. For anyone who during this month eases the workload of his servants, Allah will make easy his accounting, and for anyone who doesn’t hurt others during this month, Allah will safeguard him from His Wrath on the Day of Judgement. Anyone who respects and treats an orphan with kindness during this month, Allah shall look at him with kindness on that Day. Anyone who treats his kinsmen well during this month, Allah will bestow His Mercy on him on that Day, while anyone who mistreats his kinsmen during this month, Allah will keep away from His Mercy.

Whomever offers the recommended prayers during this month, Allah will save him from Hell, and whomever observes his obligations during this month, his reward will be seventy times the reward during other months. Whomever repeatedly invokes Allah’s blessings on me, Allah will keep his scale of good deeds heavy, while the scales of others will be tending to lightness. Whomever recites during this month an ayat (verse) of the Holy Qur’an, will get the reward of reciting the whole Qur’an in other months.

O people!, the gates of Paradise remain open during this month. Pray to your Lord that they may not be closed for you. While the gates of Hell are closed, pray to your Lord that they never open for you. Satan has been chained, invoke your Lord not to let him dominate you.”

Ali ibn Talib (Radhi Allah ‘Anh) said: “I asked, ‘O messenger of Allah, what are the best deeds during this month’?” ‘He replied: ‘O Abu-Hassan, the best of deeds during this month is to be far from what Allah has forbidden’.”

Source: Jamiat KZN

Mi’raj – Ultimate Belief in the Unseen

Belief in the Unseen represents a major and essential part of Islam. When we review the key principles of Islam such as belief in Allah, the Hereafter, Paradise and Hell, angels and jinn, past prophets and books, we find that all these issues are ghayb (unseen) and need unshakable conviction in Rasulullah SAW’s truthfulness. The Night Journey and Ascension (Al-Israa’ wa Al-Me’raj) posed a crucial test for early Muslims to assess their belief in the Unseen. This journey brought to light the unshakeable, firmly rooted faith of Abu Bakr As-Siddiq and the weak faith of some other people who rejected Islam totally once they heard the story.

The event of Al-Israa’ and Al-Me’raj is recorded in the Quran and Hadith. It is the miraculous Night Journey of Rasulullah SAW which consists of two phases. Phase one covers his trip from Makkah to Jerusalem , known as Al-Israa’, and phase two covers his ascent from Jerusalem into the Heavens, known as Al-Me’raj. It is the opinion of some historians that Rasulullah SAW went on this remarkable journey on the night of Rajab 27 (in the seventh month of the Islamic calendar). Some authors refer to the year in which this event is recorded as the Year of Grief. It was the year in which Rasulullah SAW lost his beloved wife Khadijah RA and his dear uncle, Abu Talib, who had nurtured him as a child and protected him when he was proclaimed a prophet of Allah. During this same year, he went to the city of Ta’if to invite the people to Islam, but he was stoned and driven out of the city by the street urchins. Rasulullah SAW is reported to have said that the day in Ta’if was the most difficult day of his life.

Due to these three events, Rasulullah SAW was very sad, but Allah Almighty had a superb plan to relieve His Chosen Messenger from distress, as is embodied in the following Quran verse: [ Glorified be He Who carried His servant by night from the Inviolable Place of Worship to the Far Distant Place of Worship the neighbourhood whereof We have blessed, that We might show him of Our tokens! Lo! He, only He, is the Nearer, the Seer ] (Al-Israa’ 17:1). The above verse refers to Al-Israa’, the journey from Makkah to Jerusalem .

In a hadith in Sahih Al-Bukhari, Abu Dhar RA narrated the event of Al-Me’raj or Ascension, as described by Rasulullah SAW. Abu Dhar RA narrated as follows: Rasulullah SAW was in Makkah and the Angel Jibreel (Gabriel) descended through the roof, opened his chest, washed it with Zamzam water, filled it with wisdom and faith, and then closed it. He was then taken by Jibreel to the nearest heaven, where Jibreel was asked by the gatekeeper, “Jibreel is there anyone with you?” He answered that Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was with him. Again he asked, “Has he been called?” And Jibreel answered in the affirmative. The gate was then opened and they entered the nearest heaven, where they saw a man sitting with a large number of people on his right and also on his left. When he looked on his right he laughed, and when he looked at his left he wept. Then he said, “Welcome! O pious prophet and pious son.” Rasulullah SAW inquired from Jibreel who the man was and Jibreel informed him that he was Adam and the people around him were his offspring. Those on his right were the people of Paradise and on his left, the people of Hell.

They then travelled to the second heaven. Here Jibreel was asked the same questions as before and he gave the same response, and so the gate was opened. Anas RA reported that Abu Dhar RA added that Rasulullah SAW met Adam, Idris (Enoch), Musa (Moses), Isa (Jesus), and Ibrahim (Abraham), but Abu Dhar RA did not mention in which heaven they were, except that Rasulullah SAW met Adam in the first and Ibrahim in the sixth. Each of these prophets welcomed Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and Jibreel identified each of them. Ibn Abbas RA and Abu Habba Al-Ansari RA reported that Rasulullah SAW also said that Jibreel ascended with him to a place where he heard the creaking of pens. Allah prescribed fifty Prayers on His followers.

When Rasulullah SAW returned with this order from Allah, he passed by Musa, who inquired, “What has Allah enjoined on your followers?” He replied, “He has enjoined fifty Prayers on them.” Musa advised him to go back and appeal for a reduction because his followers would not be able to bear it. So he went back to Allah (a few times) and appealed for a reduction until it was reduced to five per day, and Allah said, “These are five Prayers and they are all equal to fifty in reward, for My Word does not change.” Rasulullah SAW returned to Musa AS , who advised him to seek a further reduction, but he said he felt shy to ask again.

After this, he was taken by Jibreel to Sidrat Al-Muntaha or the Lote Tree of the Utmost Boundary, which was shrouded in colours that are indescribable. He was then admitted into Paradise , where he saw that its walls were made of pearls and its earth was made of musk.

As we contemplate the occurrences of this remarkable night, we can say that Allah had a very good reason for Rasulullah SAW to be transported from Makkah to Jerusalem and then to the Seven Heavens. Jerusalem was the Qiblah or the direction towards which Rasulullah SAW turned in Prayer, and up to that time was the seat of learning for all previously revealed scriptures. This unique incident also demonstrates Allah’s infinite mercy to the believers. His benevolent gift of Prayer gives the believers the privilege of acquiring countless blessings and also forgiveness for their indiscretions.

Source: Jamiat KZN

The Reality of Sahih (Authentic) Hadith outside Bukhari & Muslim

The following paragraphs discredit the erroneous claim of some individuals: that only the narrations of Sahih Al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim are authentic. This rebuttal is summarized in five points.

An Outdated Misconception

Firstly, in the fourth century of Islam, there existed a deviated sect which – like some individuals today- claimed that besides the ahadith of Sahihain, all other narrations are unacceptable. This false accusation was the reason for which Imam Abu Abdillah Muhammad ibn Abdillah Al-Hakim Al-Naisaburi (rahimahullah) compiled his famous work entitled: “Al-Mustadrak ‘alas Sahihain’’, in which he endeavored to compile those ahadith that fulfill the criteria of Sahih Al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim but were not included therein.

In his introduction, Imam Al-Hakim (rahimahullah) says: “Neither of them (i.e. Imam Bukhari (rahimahullah) or Imam Muslim (rahimahullah) have stated that there exists no other authentic narrations besides what they have chosen”. [Al Mustadrak, vol.1 pg.2]

When commenting on the criteria laid down by Imam Bukhari and Imam Muslim (rahimahumallah), the scholars generally rely upon their own scrutiny of the respective books (i.e. Sahih Al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim). The reason for this is that very little has being explained by the authors themselves. For example, Imam Al- Bukhari (rahimahullah) has not written an introduction to his book, wherein he would have mentioned his criterion for accepting ahadith as sahih, or as to what would be his methodology in his book. This naturally leads to difference of opinion among the scholars.

However, there can be no difference of opinion when “the man speaks for himself”, as is the case in the topic under discussion.

Imam Al-Bukhari (rahimahullah) said: “I have memorized one hundred thousand authentic ahadith.” [Tazkiratul Huffadh – vol.2 pg.556]

Interestingly, he only included nine thousand and eighty two of them (including repetitions) in his Al-Sahih! (Refer: Hadyus Saari, pg.653)

Imam Al-Isma’ili (rahimahullah) has quoted Imam Al-Bukhari (rahimahullah) as saying: ‘’I have only cited sahih (authentic) ahadith in this book (i.e. Sahih Al-Bukhari) However, the amount of sahih ahadeeth that I omitted there from is much more.’’ [Hadyus Saari pg.9]

Imam Ibrahim ibn Ma’qal Al-Nasafi (rahimahullah) reports that Imam Bukhari (rahimahullah) said:“I have only quoted authentic ahadith in my book, and I excluded many other authentic narrations for the fear of monotony.” [ibid pg.9; Tarikh Dimashq vol.55 pg.54

Imam Abu Bakr al Hazimi (rahimahullah) states, ‘Imam Al-Bukhari (rahimahullah) never intended to encompass every authentic narration.’ [Shurutul A-immah]

Imam Muslim (rahimahullah) has made a similar statement in his book Sahih Muslim, “Chapter on Tashahhud”: “I haven’t quoted every single authentic narration in this book.“ i.e, there are many authentic narrations that are not included therein.

Imam Muslim (rahimahullah) is also reported to have said: “I haven’t ever claimed that those narrations which are excluded from my Sahih are weak. My only claim is that the ahadith contained in my book are authentic.” [Fathul Mugheeth, vol.1 pg. 54]

These quotations clearly explain the reality; that there exists many authentic narrations outside of the Sahihain.

The many types of Sahih Hadith

Secondly, Hafiz Ibn Salah (rahimahullah) and others have classified the Sahih ahadith in to seven categories:

1) Those ahadith that appear in both, Sahih al Bukhari and Sahih Muslim. (Muttafaq ‘Alaih)

2) Those ahadith that appear only in Sahih al Bukhari.

3) Those that appear only in Sahih Muslim.

4) Those that match the criteria of both, Sahih al Bukhari and Sahih Muslim, but are not found therein.

5) Those that match the criteria of Sahih al Bukhari only and are not found therein.

6) Those that match the criteria of Sahih Muslim only and are not found therein.

7) Those that do not fit the description of any one of the above, but were classified authentic by some reliable Muhaddithun.

[Muqaddimah ibn Salah pg.27; Tadribur Rawi pg.73 and Sharh Nukhbah pg.64]

In light of the above, the last four types of ahadith do not appear in the Sahihain. Despite that, they are still considered as authentic.
Added to this is the fact that Imam Al-Hakim (rahimahullah) has cited ten types of Sahih ahadith, many of which are not included in the Sahihain. [Tadribur Rawi pgs.85-86]

More Books that contain only Sahih Hadith

Thirdly, many Muhaddithun have compiled books which they ensured contained only authentic narrations.

Undoubtedly many of their narrations are not found in the Sahihain.

Some of these compilations are:

a) Al-Muwatta of Imam Malik (rahimahullah)

b) Sahih ibn Khuzaimah

c) Sahih ibn Hibban

d) Al Mukhtarah of Imam Diyaudeen al Maqdisi (rahimahullah) and others.

The General Practice of the Scholars

Fourthly, the practice of all the Muhaddithun throughout time also confirms the prevalence of authentic ahadith outside of the Sahihain. In this regard, countless Muhaddithun have classified various ahadith (that do not appear in Sahihain) as Sahih.

Books such as the following clearly substantiate this:

a) Al-Targheeb wa Tarheeb of Hafidh Al-Mundhiri (rahimahullah)

b) Riyadu Saliheen of Imam Al-Nawawi (rahimahullah)

c) Majma’uz Zawaid of ‘Allamah Al-Haithami (rahimahullah)

d) Nasbur Rayah of ‘Allamah Al-Zaila’ee (rahimahullah)

e) Fathul Bari of Hafidh Ibn Hajar Al-’Asqalani (rahimahullah)

Imam Bukhari Himself

Fifth and Lastly, there are several ahadith that are not in the sahihain which Imam Bukhari (rahimahullah) was asked to comment on. Many of them have been classified as sahih by Imam Bukhari (rahimahullah) himself! (Examples can be found in Al-‘Ilalul Kabeer of Imam Tirmidhi (rahimahullah)

Conclusion

These five points points are sufficient to prove the fallacy of the claim that: there exists no Sahih hadith outside of the Sahihain (Sahih al Bukhari and Sahih Muslim).

Therefore, if any particular madhab (school of fiqh) substantiates its viewpoint with a narration outside of the Sahihain, there should be no objection as long as the narration is suited for that purpose.

One who demands otherwise is quite far off from reality, since the Imams of the four famous schools of fiqh actually lived before the existence of the Sahihain!

Note: The purpose of this article is not to disparage these two most authentic books of hadith.

The Sahihain will always enjoy the rank of being “the most authentic books that were ever authored by man”.

The motive is just to clarify a reality that seemed clouded to many contemporaries.

May Allah Ta‘ala guide us all.

Sheikh Mohammed ibn Moulana Haroon Abasoomer
Lecturer in the Faculty of Hadith

The Month Of Rajab

THE MONTH OF RAJAB

Rajab is the seventh month in the Islamic lunar calendar. This month is regarded as one of the sacred months (Al-Ashhur-al-hurum), (Surah Taubah, Verse : 36).

The others are Dhul Qa’dah, Dhul Hijjah, and Al Muharram. In these months many activities which were permissible in the days of the Holy Prophet Sallalahu Alayhi Wassalam would become prohibited.

Rajab is also a preliminary part to the month of Ramadhan, since Ramadhan follows it after the intervening month of Sha’ban, with the sighting of the crescent of Rajab, Rasullulah Sallalahu Alayhi Wassallam would anticipate and begin preparations for the month of Ramadhan, i.e two months in advance.

Sayyiduna Anas Ibn Malek Radiyallahu Anhu Reports that whenever the month of Rajab would arrive,

Rasullulah Sallalahu Allayhi Wassallam would make the following Supplication ,

اَللّهُمَّ بَارِكْ لَنَا فِيْ رَجَبَ وَشَعْبَانَ وَبَلِّغْنَا رَمَضَانَ

Allahumma barik lana fi Rajab wa Sha’baan wa ballighna Ramadhan

‘‘O Allah ! Grant us Barakah (Blessing) during (the months of) Rajab and Sha’baan and allow us to reach Ramadhan.’’[1]


[1] Shu’abul Imaan #3534, Ibnu Sunni #662,
Mukhtassar Zawaid Bazzar #662, Al Azkhaar #549

 

Securing Rewards in Marriage

The sawaab (reward) for the sabr (patience) a woman exercises over her difficulties in managing the home of her husband and fulfilling the rights of her husband and children sometimes is such, which makes her ‘reach’ Allah Ta‘ala very quickly. This, however, is conditional to her obedience to Allah Ta‘ala; fulfilling His Rights, the Rights of His Rasul (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi waSallam), as well as the Rights of His Creation.

Women who have a number of children, sometimes even a temperamental husband, together with many household chores and other responsibilities sometimes think that they cannot achieve the ranks of the Auliya Allah because they do not have time for ‘wazeefas’ and Nawaafil (optional prayers).

I tell them that they need not worry about too many wazeefas. The most important ‘wazeefa’ is abstinence from all sins. Added to this they should just correct their niyyah or intention in all that they are doing as routine housework. Make the intention of pleasing Allah Ta‘ala, then that same housework becomes Ibaadah. In this simple way, they will easily secure great rewards and the same spiritual stages, if not higher.

Similarly, the sawaab for the sabr (patience) a man exercises over his wife’s shortcomings, emotional outbursts or mood swings is a medium by which he too acquires great rewards and reaches Allah Ta‘ala very, very quickly.

Many Auliyaa Allah reached great spiritual heights, and were accepted for tremendous service to Deen on the patience they adopted with their wives, and on the love, care, affection, tenderness and generosity they also extended to their wives.

Rasulullah (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi waSallam) set the perfect example for husbands. Despite the tremendous responsibilities that he was entrusted with, he gave due attention and time to his wives and treated them with love and generosity. He was never harsh or insensitive towards any single wife.

Rasulullah (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi waSallam) also said: “The best amongst the Believers is he is whose character is the best. And the best among you is the one who is best towards his wife.”

by Hazrat Maulana Yunus Patel Saheb (rahmatullah alayh)

A Letter to My Son – From a Mother

Letter from mother As featured on Sabahul Khair {Keep the tissues on hand….}

‘My Son, I am Your Mother’

All praise is due to Allah, the easer of grief and the dispeller of worries, and may his blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad Sallalahu alaihi wasallam, the best of mankind.

My son, This is a letter of injury from your poor mother, who wrote in shyness after much delay and hesitation. Often, she had picked up a pen and was stopped by a tear! And she would stop the tear, only that the heart’s wailing would prevail.

My son…after all this time, I see you a matured man, of sound mind and balanced emotions. It is my right over you that you should at least read this paper, and then if you wish, you can rip it, as you have ripped at the corners of my heart before.

‘My son…more than twenty years ago, it was a bright and sunny day in my life when the doctor told me I was pregnant. Mothers, my son, know the meaning of this word well! It is a blend of joy and rapture, and the beginning of pain marked by physical and emotional changes. And after those glad tidings, I carried you nine months inside me with jubilant happiness. I rose with difficulty, and I slept with difficulty.

I ate with difficulty, and I breathed with difficulty. Only none of this lessened my delight and love for you. Instead, my love grew more with the days and a longing for you flourished within me.

‘I carried you, my son, enduring weakness upon weakness, and pain upon pain, delighting at your movement, and rejoicing at your weight’s increase, though it was for me, a heavy burden. It was long suffering, after which came the dawn of a night I did not sleep in or close my eyelids. I acquired of suffering and anguish, and of fear and alarm, what neither a pen can describe nor a tongue utter.

‘The hurt grew so severe I lacked strength to cry, and I saw death with my eyes several times. This lasted until you came out into the world, when the tears of your screams mixed with the tears of my bliss, and removed all my torment and injury. Even in my pain, I held you in tenderness and kissed you before they could take you away and wash you with a single drop of water.

‘My son… years have passed of your life as I have carried you in my heart and bathed you with my hands. I made my lap for you a bed and my bosom for you nourishment. I was awake during my nights so you could sleep and laboring during my days so you could be happy. My wish, everyday, was to see your smile, and my pleasure, every moment, that you should ask for something I could make for you.

These things were the peak of my ecstasy. ‘The days and nights passed and I was still in that state: an attendant servant who did not neglect and a nurse who did not stop; a worker who did not rest and a supplicant for your good and success who did not slacken. I watched you day after day until your body strengthened and your youthful energy turned righteous, and the signs of manhood began to appear in you. I found myself running left and right, searching for you for the kind of wife you requested.

‘The date of your marriage came, and the time of your wedding neared. At this, my heart tore, and my tears ran, out of joy for your new life and sadness at your parting. After that, the hours passed heavily, and the moments slowly, and then I suddenly realized you were not my son that I knew. Your smile had vanished, your voice had disappeared, and your
expression grown sullen. You have forsaken me and forgotten my rights!

The days pass and I watch for your countenance and wait with a yearning sorrow to hear your voice. Your abandonment has grown long, and the days have spread out. I have stared patiently at the door, hoping you might come, and listened expectantly for the sound of the ringing phone until I thought myself delusional. And here the days have extended and the nights grown dark, and I neither see you nor hear your voice. You have disregarded the person who took care of you with the best of human care.

‘My son, I don’t ask but little. Put me in the place of your slightest friend, the farthest from your regard. Make me, my son, one of your monthly stations, so that I see you then if only for a sparing time.

‘My son…my back has arched and my limbs have shriveled. I have been wearied by ailments and visited by sickness. I do not rise except with adversity, nor sit except with hardship, and my heart still throbs with love for you.

‘My son, whenever I learn that you are happy in your life, my happiness and joy increase. I am puzzled, when you are the product of my toils.What sin have I reaped that I have become an enemy you cannot stand to see, and whose visit is so burdensome? Did I falter some day in your treatment, or neglect for a moment your attendance? Make me like the rest of your servants whose rights you give to them, and grant me a part of your mercy. Award me with some of my recompense, and be good, for Allah loves the doers of good.

‘My son, I wish to see you! I don’t want other than that! My heart has broken, and my tears have flowed, and you are alive and receiving sustenance. I hear people still talk about your refined manners and gracious conduct. Let me see, if nothing else, the frown of your face, and the features of your anger.

‘My son…is it not time for your heart to soften to a frail woman worn out by longing and restrained by mourning; a woman who has made grief her emblem and distress her garment; a women whose weeping you have caused, whose heart you have saddened, and whose kinship you have broken?

‘My son…here is the door to heaven before you, so pursue it, and knock upon it. Perhaps I will meet you there by my Lord’s mercy as it came in the Hadith: ‘The parent is the best door to paradise. So if you want, you may ignore this door or pay attention to it [narrated by Imam Ahmed].’

My son, I know that since your height has increased and your shoulders broadened, you have been looking for reward and merit. Perhaps today you have forgotten the words of the Prophet Sallalahu alaihi wasallam : ‘The best of deeds to Allah is prayer at its proper time, then kindness to the parents, then in the cause of Allah [agreed upon].’ Here then is that reward without this effort, so where are you from the best of deeds?

‘My son, I warn you from being of those meant by the Prophet Sallalahu alaihi wasallam when he said: ‘Let him be humbled, let him be humbled, let him be humbled.’ It was said: ‘Who, oh Messenger of Allah?’ He said:
‘Whomever finds his parents in their old age, one or both of them, and does not enter Paradise.’
[Muslim]‘

‘My son, I will not raise the complaints or disclose the sorrow, for it they rise above the clouds and reach the sky’s door, you will be seized with the evil of ungratefulness. Punishment will come down to you, and your living be overtaken with calamity. No, I will not do that. You are still my son, a piece of me. You are the flower of my heart, and the delight of my life.

‘Wake up my son. Old age is overtaking you, and years will pass and you will soon become an aged father. Reward is given according to doing, and you will write letters to your son with tears as I have to you. And with Allah, adversity gathers.’ Son, fear Allah in your mother, and be constant to her, for heaven is at her feet. Brush away her tears, and ease her sadness, and if you still insist, then rip her letter.

And know, that whomever does good, it is for himself, and whomever does evil, it is against him.

NB: If you go against your parents wishes, you may be happy for a While but
not for long….

Source: Jamiat KZN

Be satisfied with what you got, be thankful, and move on in your life

None of you shall have everything in life, but you will have what you need; so be satisfied with what you got. None of you shall have more in life than what Allah decreed for you, but you will have what you need; so be thankful for it. And none of you shall have a perfect life in this world, but you will have what you need; so move on in your life.

O Abu Dharr! Do you think that an abundance in wealth is satisfaction? Verily, true satisfaction is the satisfaction of the heart, and whoever is one who’s satisfaction is in his heart, then nothing that he encounters from this World will harm him. And whoever is one who’s poverty is in his heart, then he will never become satisfied with an abundance of what is given to him in this World, and his covetnous is what will harm him.”[Saheeh al-Jaami as-Sagheer wa Ziyaadatuh #7816]

Struggle and have patience until the day comes for you to have everything, more than you want, and all that you wish. And this dream will become true only in Paradise, and that is the real life that (inshaAllah) awaits you. The real life begins in the hereafter.

As for this life, it is a prison for until an appointed time. Until you get free, you have to struggle and be patient.

Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The world is a prison-house for a believer and Paradise for a non-believer. [Sahih Muslim – Book 42: Hadith 7058]

Reflect upon the following Hadith:

“Allaah – the Exalted – says: ‘I am as My servant thinks Me to be, and I am with him if he calls upon Me.’” [Saheeh al-Jaami as-Sagheer wa Ziyaadatuh]

A’isha reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, used to pray at night until his feet became cracked. “I said to him, ‘Why do you do this. Messenger of Allah, when Allah has forgiven you all your past and future wrong actions?’ He said, ‘Do I not want to be a grateful slave?’” [Bukhari]

The mentioning of the blessings of Allaah is gratefulness, and not doing so is ungratefulness. And whoever is not thankful for the small things, will not be thankful for the big things. And whoever doesn’t thank the people, doesn’t thank Allaah. And the united community is a blessing, and division is punishment.” [Saheeh al-Jaami as-Sagheer wa Ziyaadatuh]

Whoever makes his worries about just one thing – the Appointed Day (of Resurrection) – then Allaah will suffice him from the rest of his worries. And whoever has his worries branching off from the affairs of this World, then Allaah will not care in which valley he dies.” [Saheeh al-Jaami as-Sagheer wa Ziyaadatuh]

One that is relieved and one that is relieved from: the believing servant is relieved of the stress and pain of this World onto the Mercy of Allaah – the Exalted. And the sinful servant relieves the (righteous) servants and lands and plants and animals of his presence.” [Saheeh al-Jaami as-Sagheer wa Ziyaadatuh]

Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Look at those who stand at a lower level than you but don’t look at those who stand at a higher level than you, for this would make the favours (conferred upon you by Allah) insignificant (in your eyes). [Muslim]

Source: Jamiat Kwa Zulu Natal

The Husband Who Was Too Shy To Look At His Wife

….So I said to him: “And the likes of her truly deserve that from you.”....

This story was recounted by Prof. Khalid Al-Jubeir, consulting cardiovascular surgeon, in one of his lectures:
Once I operated on a two and a half year old child. It was Tuesday, and on Wednesday the child was in good health. On Thursday at 11:15 am – and I’ll never forget the time because of the shock I experienced – one of the nurses informed me that the heart and breathing of the child had stopped. I hurried to the child and performed cardiac massage for 45 minutes and during that entire time the heart would not work.

Then, ALLAH decreed for the heart to resume function and we thanked HIM. I went to inform the child’s family about his condition. As you know, it is very difficult to inform the patient’s family about his condition when it’s bad. This is one of the most difficult situations a doctor is subjected to but it is necessary. So I looked for the child’s father whom I couldn’t find. Then I found his mother. I told her that the child’s cardiac arrest was due to bleeding in his throat; we don’t know the cause of this bleeding and fear that his brain is dead.

So how do you think she responded? Did she cry? Did she blame me? No, nothing of the sort. Instead, she said “Alhamdulillah” (All Praise is due to ALLAH) and left me.
After 10 days, the child started moving. We thanked ALLAH and were happy that his brain condition was reasonable. After 12 days, the heart stopped again because of the same bleeding. We performed another cardiac massage for 45 minutes but this time his heart didn’t respond. I told his mother that there was no hope. So she said: “Alhamdulillah. O ALLAH, if there is good in his recovery, then cure him, O my Lord.”

With the grace of ALLAH, his heart started functioning again. He suffered six similar cardiac arrests till a trachea specialist was able to stop the bleeding and the heart started working properly. Now, three and a half months had passed and the child was recovering but did not move. Then just as he started moving, he was afflicted with a very large and strange pus-filled abscess in his head, the likes of which I had never seen. I informed his mother of the serious development. She said “Alhamdulillah” and left me.

We immediately turned him over to the surgical unit that deals with the brain and nervous system and they took over his treatment. Three weeks later, the boy recovered from this abscess but was still not moving. Two weeks pass and he suffers from a strange blood poisoning and his temperature reaches 41.2°C (106°F). I again informed his mother of the serious development and she said with patience and certainty: “Alhamdulillah. O ALLAH, if there is good in his recovery, then cure him.”

After seeing his mother who was with her child at Bed#5, I went to see another child at Bed#6. I found that child’s mother crying and screaming, “Doctor! Doctor! Do something! The boy’s temperature reached 37.6°C (99.68°F)! He’s going to die! He’s going to die!” I said with surprise, “Look at the mother of that child in Bed#5. Her child’s fever is over 41°C (106°F), yet she is patient and praises ALLAH.” So she replied: “That woman isn’t conscious and has no senses”. At that point, I remembered the great Hadith of the Prophet (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam): “Blessed are the strangers.” Just two words… but indeed two words that shake a nation! In 23 years of hospital service, I have never seen the likes of this patient sister.

We continued to care for him. Now, six and a half months have passed and the boy finally came out of the recovery unit – not talking, not seeing, not hearing, not moving, not smiling, and with an open chest in which you can see his beating heart. The mother changed the dressing regularly and remained patient and hopeful. Do you know what happened after that? Before I inform you, what do you think are the prospects of a child who has passed through all these dangers, agonies, and diseases? And what do you expect this patient mother to do whose child is at the brink of the grave and who is unable to do anything except supplicate and beseech ALLAH? Do you know what happened two and a half months later? The boy was completely cured by the mercy of ALLAH and as a reward for this pious mother. He now races his mother with his feet as if nothing happened and he became sound and healthy as he was before.

The story doesn’t end here. This is not what moved me and brought tears to my eyes. What filled my eyes with tears is what follows:

One and a half years after the child left the hospital, one of the brothers from the Operations Unit informed me that a man, his wife and two children wanted to see me. I asked who they were and he replied that he didn’t know them. So I went to see them, and I found the parents of the same child whom I operated upon. He was now five years old and like a flower in good health – as if nothing happened to him. With them also was a four-month old newborn. I welcomed them kindly and then jokingly asked the father whether the newborn was the 13th or 14th child. He looked at me with an astonishing smile as if he pitied me. He then said, “This is the second child, and the child upon whom you operated is our first born, bestowed upon us after 17 years of infertility. And after being granted that child, he was afflicted with the conditions that you’ve seen.”

At hearing this, I couldn’t control myself and my eyes filled with tears. I then involuntarily grabbed the man by the arm, and pulling him to my room, asked him about his wife: “Who is this wife of yours who after 17 years of infertility has this much patience with all the fatal conditions that afflict her first born?! Her heart cannot be barren! It must be fertile with Imaan!

Do you know what he said? Listen carefully my dear brothers and sisters.

He said, “I was married to this woman for 19 years and for all these years she has never missed the night prayers except due to an authorized excuse. I have never witnessed her backbiting, gossiping, or lying. Whenever I leave home or return, she opens the door, supplicates for me, and receives me hospitably. And in everything she does, she demonstrates the utmost love, care, courtesy, and compassion.” The man completed by saying, “Indeed, doctor, because of all the noble manners and affection with which she treats me, I’m shy to lift up my eyes and look at her. So I said to him: “And the likes of her truly deserve that from you.”

The End…
ALLAH says: And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient; Who, when calamity strikes them, say, “Indeed we belong to ALLAH, and indeed to HIM we will return.” Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the guided. (Surah Al-Baqarah 155-157)

Umm Salamah (the wife of the Prophet) said: I heard the Messenger of ALLAH (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) saying: “There is no Muslim who is stricken by a calamity and says what ALLAH has commanded him – ‘Indeed we belong to ALLAH, and indeed to Him we will return; O ALLAH, reward me for my affliction and compensate me with that which is better’ – except that ALLAH will grant him something better in exchange.” When Abu Salamah passed away, I said to myself: “What Muslim is better than Abu Salamah?” I then said the words, and ALLAH gave me the Messenger of ALLAH (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) in exchange.

(Sahih Muslim Sharief)

Source: Jamiat Kwa Zulu Natal