Severing Family Ties

Advice of Hadhrat Mufti Mahmood Hassan Gangohi (Rahmatullahi Alayh) [1]


Respected Mufti Sahib,

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-raḥmatullāhi wa-barakātuh

My brothers and sisters have dealt with me in such a manner that I do not even wish to look at them anymore. I personally took care of them when they were young. Despite being in stringent financial conditions myself, I bore all their expenses as well. However, now that they have grown up, I am being repaid with endless trouble from them. They spread false propaganda against me and cause me much difficulty. I therefore wish to break ties with them. My mother has also sided with them and continuously rebukes and curses me. I am presently not on talking terms with her as well.


Respected Brother

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-raḥmatullāhi wa-barakātuh

I am greatly distressed with your present condition. To honour and respect your mother is vitally important. To break contact and not to be on talking terms with her is a matter of severe deprivation and loss. Likewise to sever ties with your brothers and sisters is also extremely detestable. You have probably read the following Hadith: “Join ties with those who cut you off, forgive the one who oppresses you and do good to the one who has done evil to you.” Never consider the wicked way in which others have treated you. Rather consider what should be your (proper) response. Only in this will you find salvation. You may still remember the couplet of Sheik Sa’di (RA): “To return evil with evil is very simple; if you are man enough, return evil with good.’

May Allah Ta‘ala help you and I.

[1] (Hadhrat Mufti Mahmood Hasan Gangohi raḥimahullāh His life and works, Publsh. Ta’limi Board, KZN, Pg 250)